Lucky or Unlucky in Love…

Love, Broken Hearts, Infidelity, Monogamy, Marriage….

(From one of my previous posts on Tumblr)

All are apart of opening your heart to someone else.  But what determines who is lucky enough to experience forever love, real true marriages, and long lasting monogamy?

Most, if not all of us, experience heart break at some point in our lives.  Some more than others.  The feeling of heart break is like nothing else.  It is gut wrenching, life changing, and can make you physically sick.

I remember that feeling all too well even though my first heart break happened 10 years ago.  I think it may stick with you forever.

The feeling of rejection, abandonment, regret, and maybe being used.  I can remember being 16 years old, crying uncontrollably, and my dad rocking me in a rocking chair that he used to rock me in as a baby.  Heart break brings out the child in you.  You feel helpless and you just want someone to make it all better. After weeks of feeling like shit, I vowed to myself that no one would ever get to me in that way ever again.  I stuck to that vow for the most part.

Heart breaks are pretty common but how about numerous heart breaks, unlucky circumstances, and those that will search for love forever with no luck.  Why aren’t they lucky?  What force is keeping them from finding real love?  Is it fate for them to be alone or is it just them?  These questions are probably asked by millions of people, especially women, every day… My heart hurts for these people because there is no better feeling than true love.

Maybe some of us are meant to be dragged through the mud of emotions before we find that special someone.  I remember at one point in my life, I thought I was meant to be alone….

I thought I found my soul mate. We dated for a year after he swept me off my feet.  We had certain moments of anger towards each other but for the most part it was real love.  He was tragically ripped from my life in an instant.  He was killed in a motorcycle accident and I have never been the same.  The horror one feels when their life is all of a sudden changed, and not in a good way.  The emptiness and anger you feel when you think God has stolen from you.  The complete sorrow you feel when you have someone you love with all your heart one moment, and the next they are no longer alive.  The pain from not being able to say good bye.  The continual question of what went wrong. It took me a while to come back from this.  I acted in ways that were out of character.  I was reckless and over emotional for a few years.

Do people find their true love on the first try?  I understand that there are “high school sweet hearts” out there, but really high school!?  You don’t even know who you are in high school.  You don’t know what you want.  Do these types of relationships have that over the top, butterflies in your stomach, look forward to coming home to that person, feeling when the couple are in their 20’s?  Do they feel a sense of resentment towards their spouse for not being able to experience other people, other partners?  Does the relationship get old because the person they married is no longer the person they are married to?  Don’t get me wrong, I know these types of things happen in relationships that start later on in life too.  But I do think that giving your all to a person in high school is almost setting yourself up for disappointment. You have to experience a few bad apples in order to find the perfect one.

And then, what about the people who are dedicated to their relationship but the other person doesn’t feel the same way.  Talk about a stab in the heart!  You declare your feelings and you get the awkward “I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same way…” You can’t really blame either party because feelings are feelings and they can’t be helped.  This is a sad part of Love.  This is the part that keeps people from opening their heart.  From giving their all to another.  The fear of rejection and the unknown could keep them from ever finding the ONE.

We can’t forget the cheaters.  Some cheat because they are pathetic cowards. Some cheat because their sex drive is absurdly high and they can’t give their vag/penis to one person only. Some cheat because they are not getting what they need from their partner.  Maybe a marriage is empty.  Maybe a husband or wife has done all they can to show their spouse that they are unhappy, but nothing changes.  Cheating is horrible and it affects more people than we realize at the time.  Is cheating the end all or maybe the wake up call?

So with all these different things acting against LOVE, how do we keep the faith that love is out there for us?  Maybe some people will be alone forever, maybe some will jump from partner to partner, and some of us will have failed marriages.  I would like to think that everyone has a soul mate waiting for them, and some may have a few… I would like divorce to be a bad word but in reality it’s a common much used word now a days… Do to our ever changing culture, the promotion of promiscuity, and the undermining of what marriage stands for, less and less people will find the ONE!

For those of us who believe in real LOVE, hold on tight! Keep faith that there is someone out there for you.  And definitely never settle on the possibility that you are meant to be alone.  I think that LOVE finds you when you least expect it.  It found me in a high school gym 4 years after leaving that high school.  I was open to it and I let my guard down for the first time in 2 years.  It found me and made me believe in it again.  Open hearts and minds will make leaps and bounds in the game of LOVE….

Are you Lucky or Unlucky in Love????

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2 Comments

Filed under Love

2 responses to “Lucky or Unlucky in Love…

  1. First of all- love this article Chels! You bring up so many thoughts that I know I and several of my friends have about love and finding the right person. I would have to say I’m lucky when it comes to love, not because I have found the ONE, or bc I haven’t experienced heart break- I have. I thought I may have found the one and it turned out he didn’t feel the same. Everyone says it’s about timing, I like to think the right couple would be able to beat all odds. Anyways I consider myself lucky when it comes to love because I know I am capable of loving- and even though my past heart break makes me more cautious of who I give it to, it’s just a matter of finding the right one- one that is also capable of love and fits.

    • Thank you Chris! And I completely agree with you. Part of being “Lucky” is taking what you have learned and experienced from past relationships and knowing what you want in the “right” relationship. Being capable of loving the person who loves you with the same intensity. The one who just seems to fit perfectly beside you. Thanks for commenting on this and I’m sure other’s can definitely identify with what you wrote 🙂

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