Do you ever find yourself looking at another woman’s success and feeling gross about it? You know the jealousy feeling, or maybe just straight feelings of hate. It’s weird because as females it seems like these feelings are almost ingrained in us. We really should be spending our time lifting each other up and routing each other on. We should be each others biggest fans. We should rally each other to do better and celebrate when one of us figures it all out.
What do we need to do in order to be genuinely happy for those around us? The answer is complex. WE HAVE TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT OURSELVES! We need to figure out our path in life and follow it. We need to have plans and goals. We need to work hard to accomplish what we set out to do. If all of us could have drive, and the motivation to be our best, then the natural feelings of jealousy may become less natural…
As I work with teenage girls, I see the jealously in their eyes. I hear it in their voices when they speak of their peers. Many try to disguise jealously by giving reasons why they down talk other females. “She is a slut. She tries too hard. She is annoying and no one can stand her.” They try to justify their hatred and define the reasons why these “other girls” are so unappealing. As females, we rarely look into ourselves to find the reasons why we put down other girls and continue to gossip about their negatives and short comings. Those of us who start these behaviors as teenagers will usually continue them into adulthood. It becomes natural for us to negatively talk about others. It becomes difficult for us to talk positively about those that are doing better than ourselves.
In my opinion it is the job of the mother and other female mentors to intercept this before it becomes a habit of their daughters. Helping your daughter to feel good about herself from an early age helps set the tone for the rest of her life. If she likes who she is, sets goals for herself, and understands the concept of hard work, she will be less inclined to put others down in order to lift herself up. Mothers need to encourage their daughters to help other girls feel good about themselves. They need to teach them that other girls are not the enemy, but an ally. The main reason women are “haters” is because they are unhappy in their own lives. It doesn’t take a therapist or psychologist to explain this. “Misery loves company.” It makes sense and if we all accept this and work to fix it, the next generation of females will be happier, healthier, and united.
I challenge the girls and women I know. Let’s hold ourselves to a higher standard. Let’s support each other and help when in need. Let’s celebrate our femininity and help the female race soar. Let’s work on lifting each other up and stop tearing each other down.
Do you except the challenge?