The Definition of Friend

36brokenHeartNecklace     So many women and girls have a hard time really keeping friends through out life.  Some girls don’t know the true meaning of being a friend.  Girls are constantly back stabbing, gossiping, and hating each other.  It sometimes surprises me how many grown women act in these same ways.  When will females understand that we are stronger when we stand together?  It’s obvious that our society has issues with being “real” friends but what about the issues you experience in your own circle?  Some times letting go of friendships that have gone astray is necessary.  I take the term “best friend” very seriously.  I’ve only used this term for a select few and I believe letting go is much harder than it seems.  It is definitely easier said than done.   There are a couple different types of friends and I’d like to discuss ways to determine who is your “best friend” and those are simply your friends…

A “best” friend is someone who is there for you when needed, no questions asked. They are there without even having to be asked.  Someone you can tell your secrets to.  A person who you can trust with your life.  Someone who will tell you the truth about yourself.  Someone who is a mirror for you to look into when you have a hard time seeing yourself.  A person who wants to have fun with you, live life with you, and be by your side whenever possible.  They would rather spend their time with you before spending it with other “friends.”  They will drop what they are doing to be next to you in times of need.  As life progresses you get married, you have kids, you get new jobs, you move, but your dedication to this person never falters.   Your life is better because they are apart of it.

Many of us use the term “best friend” when describing people who don’t necessarily act “best.”  We should give that title to the people who deserve it.  Make sure you understand and can determine who your true best friend is.

Other people in your life are friends.  Those that you only hang out with at bars, restaurants, amusement parks and sporting events.  These people are great and you enjoy their company, but what sets them apart from your “best” is that they, more than likely, will not be there every time you need them.  They don’t know your dark side.  They haven’t gone through tough times with you.  They are superficial friends that you have something in common with.  If life gets too deep, these are not the people you lean on for strength.

I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older that the people you want to be your “best” friends aren’t always the people who are your best friends.  Some of us give more than we get.  Sometimes it becomes a sad reality in the friendship.  Someone may take your generosity and loyalty for granted.  It takes time to realize it but when you do, have enough respect and pride in yourself to demand the same in return.  If they can’t give you that, than they do not deserve the title of “best.”  As adults you should surround yourself with people who want to be there for you.  A small circle filled with people you can always count on is better than a large circle filled with those that are convenience type friends.  This lessens the stress on your life and gives you confidence that they will be there always.  It is an amazing feeling to have people in your corner who encourage you to be better and who will help you get to where you need to be.  Sometimes these best friends are sisters, cousins and husbands.  Who ever your best friend is, make sure they deserve the title.  Giving your all to someone who only gives you some is not a mutual healthy friendship.  You should get what you give and vice versa.

Let go of those who hold you back and those who get in the way of your success.  At times it doesn’t take a huge falling out or disagreement to know that the friendship just isn’t what it’s supposed to be.  Sometimes life just changes us.  Be picky with the ones you let in and always make sure you are holding up your end of the friendship.  There is nothing worse than someone who is unreliable, non dedicated and only there when it’s convenient.

Are you a “best” friend?  What’s your definition of a best friend?

 

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “The Definition of Friend

  1. Sarah Hawkins

    I know exactly what you mean. I have an even stricter definition for the term friend, which cause a little trouble over the years. In high school I upset a girl because I considered her an acquaintance. She understood why after I explained that we never hung out, and friends hang out. We just talked in school. But my idealism about friendship is sometimes what causes people to fall away from me. I can be like Mr. Darcy sometimes, my opinion once lost is lost forever. I’ve found out multiple times throughout the years that girls who I though were friends were being extremely dishonest, insincere and not genuine. It’s so sad. If they had been honest, talked to me, I wouldn’t have cared, but when you find out the person you think you know is health-care, it’s hard to know what exactly is real. Good post. It reminds me of exactly what I love writing about.

    • Hi Sarah,
      Thank you for commenting on this post and I am happy you can relate. I find myself writing specifically about my situations and hoping that others will not only understand but also relate to the writing. Thank you again!

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