In life we experience many relationships… We have family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships, business relationships, etc. We go through times when certain people seem like they will be around forever and the next year they no longer appear in our call log. You have some relationships that you don’t expect anything from but end up lasting a life time. I often think about the many relationships I have built over the years. It is definitely true that I am massively disappointed in a few people who I thought would ride with me through out life, but I have learned that you can’t hold on to who they used to be. It’s important for your own livelihood to really accept people for who they are right now. You live and you LEARN!
I wanted to take a minute to write about one relationship in particular. The relationship that some people are blessed to find and determined to keep. This is the relationship between husband and wife. I have come to understand that a spouse needs to be three things:
1. A Partner: There should be nothing that your spouse can’t help you with. You should live life by each other’s side. You pay bills together, you build a home together, you possibly make babies together, you parent together, you are responsible for the success of your children together, you make life decisions together, you travel together, you take care of your health together, you live your life TOGETHER.
2. A Mentor: There are times in life when you will need some guidance. You will need advice, comfort and probably some common sense talk. Your spouse should be the one who makes you see whatever it is you need to see at the time. He/She should make you feel like your dreams can come true. He/She should encourage you to be the best version of yourself. He/She should snap you out of the negative trance that so many of us fall into every once in a while. You should be able to give the same back to your spouse. You are each other’s biggest fan and supporter.
3. A Best Friend: As little kids and even as grown ups so many of us have had “best friends” but no relationship should compare to the one you have with your spouse. They should be your confidant, your voice of reason and the person who you laugh with every day. Obviously we have friends outside our marriage that offer us many great things. And I 100% believe these friends are needed for a happy life. But the one who you should lean on the most is your spouse. They are the one that you chose to live your life with. You made vows in front of God, your family and friends. You agreed to love them through sickness and health. They should be the one that will be by your side when no one else is standing there.
These are three things that I have come to understand to be incredibly important when it comes to a marriage. I have spent the last 5 years of my life with AP. We have been married for a little over a year and although some things have changed in our lives, our relationship has always been about those three things. We have confidently been each other’s Partner, Mentor and Best Friend. It is a feeling that is unmatched to know that the person you wake up to, spend your day loving and fall asleep next to at night is someone who will be there for you unconditionally for as long as God allows.
My wish is that everyone finds that special someone who embodies all these things…