My last blog post was about Healthy Love in relationships. I wanted to discuss Healthy SELF Love in this one… I have spent the last four years of my life studying people and how life situations affect the way they feel about themselves. I have worked on my own self-esteem and I am still working on it today. I have talked with many women who have been damaged by their past and are now trying desperately to love themselves in a healthy way. Many will say that they know what self-esteem is but when it comes to defining your personal self-esteem and why you feel the way you do, most people struggle.
There is nothing more important than self love. It will affect every aspect of your life for the rest of your life. If you do not love yourself there is a really good chance that your life will consist of bad decisions based on the fact that you feel insecure, unworthy and unimportant. Many people that do not feel good about who they are often find themselves in less than ideal relationships. This happens because many of these individuals seek out what they think they deserve. If there is no self love, love from another person is even harder to accept.
So what affects Self Love? There are many things in life but here are a few:
Your parents, childhood circumstances, teachers, friends, traumatic experiences, the media, significant others, careers, etc.
Throughout life we are presented with certain situations that can break us down. As children, it is even more important to be encouraged, protected and complimented. We develop a view of ourselves as we age and if negative attention, no attention or lack of attention is significant, we will have an altered view of who we are. We may think of ourselves as unworthy if that is all we hear about ourselves. As adults, if we allow someone to disrespect us and put us down we begin to listen to all the negative that comes from that person. Our self-confidence is weakened and eventually it can completely disappear.
As adults we spend so much time comparing ourselves to those around us. For someone who has a healthy self love, the comparisons do not bring them agony and discomfort. But for someone who does not have self love, the comparison can be consuming and damaging. Spending time with yourself is important and telling yourself how great you are is important too. You need positive self talk in order to re-train yourself to love the person staring back in the mirror. It’s easy to get caught up in negative self talk and to put yourself down.
In the month of April I was asked to partner with another company, (Scensiblesbags.com), for a Spring into Self-Esteem Week. I wrote a piece called Creating a Life you Love. Please take some time to check out this blog and the 6 steps I suggest for loving yourself and your life.
Although many of us struggle to love the body and mind we have, it is important for all of us to pay attention to what makes us happy and what doesn’t. If you are willing to do the work to find out what makes you love yourself, there is a good chance that you will soon be experiencing exactly that. SELF LOVE!
What helps you love yourself? I would LOVE to hear about it!