How often do you think of the big picture? The one that includes you living the life you’ve dreamed of. The one that paints a perfect portrait of you, your loved ones and your passion for whatever it is your passionate about. If you find yourself thinking of this bigger picture what is keeping you from it? Are you on your way or are you stuck trying to figure out how to make it all happen?
A few nights ago after a brainstorming session I started to feel very restless. I can’t explain the feeling and when I feel something I can’t explain, I try to write it out. As I’ve blogged about in the past, I have a book that I write in when I have intense thoughts, creative ideas and insecure feelings. This book is somewhat of a cure when things go wrong in my life. Whether they be big or small, I find comfort in writing in this very specific book. I don’t share everything I write, but I would like to share what I wrote that night.
“There are times when I become overly restless and full of impatience and passion. I feel that the life I’m living isn’t the life I was destined to live. I have been lucky enough to have found my soul mate but the rest of my life is standing still, waiting for a moment that will change it all forever. I can’t figure out what I’m meant to be. Who am I and what am I here to do? There is a fire inside me tonight, one that I have not felt before. PASSION keeps coming into my mind. Flashing over and over again in bold color. What does it mean? Am I not on the path to what I am truly passionate about? I feel confused and anxious. I’m not being aggressive enough on the path to my dreams. Lately I’m even confused about what my dreams are. I’m meant for something bigger than this…”
I’m sure that others find themselves in moments like this. Moments where things do not make sense and you can spend hours trying to figure it out with no resolution. The last year of my life has been days turned into months of reflection, let down and realization. I feel that 27 has been an eye opening year for me and still I haven’t figured out where I’m going. Maybe there’s beauty in that. Maybe being a little lost is part of the plan. Maybe this is all leading to a final destination in which I have no idea about.
For whatever reason, times like these can make or break us. We can let our thoughts consume us and take up much of our very precious time or we can use the confusion as fuel to our ongoing personal fire. Either way, there is much to be learned from moments like these and in some crazy way our futures depend on them.
Can you relate to this? Do you have a way of channeling frustration, creative energy and/or restlessness? If so, please share it in a comment. I am eager to hear it…