I blow my own damn mind weekly but lately I second guess every move I make and I’ve turned into someone I’m unsure of. Sometimes I just need to remember how freakin awesome I can be. This was a good reminder. Working a 9-5 has been great for our bank account but it’s put a serious damper on my creativity, drive and confidence. I never planned on living this life but when everything gets real you sometimes have to slow it down and do what you have to do to be comfortable. But comfort is short lived when the desperate need to create and inspire comes crashing back into your life. I look in the mirror and I’m shocked at what I see. I’ve chosen an easy path, one that was necessary but now I just feel complacent. I don’t have the energy or the desire to work on things that I used to. Things that I’ve dedicated so many years to already. On Monday I’m ready to give up and I convince myself that a convenient life is better. And then by Thursday I’m back to wanting it all and willing to do whatever it takes to get it. I’m on an emotional roller coaster and I haven’t been able to get off. I have dreams that overwhelm me. Can I do it? I’ve already wasted too much time. Is this really what I want to do? Maybe I should just do what so many others do. When will I be able to pick a side and dedicate 100% to it?
Random thoughts on a Monday night… Remember what I said about Monday. This one happens to be a bit different. I guess you could say I blew my own damn mind tonight.